But you have to put in the effort

Actual play doesn't cut it because even though you can derive some enjoyment from the parasocial bonds, you lack the agency to change what's going to happen

Buying dice and manuals feels nice, but it won't magically result in a group to play them with

Discussing rulings, checking ttrpg news, and reading adventure paths just doesn't cut it, it's like being able to smell the game (pun intended) but not taste it

Developing indie games activates some of the same parts of the brain as playing them, but it's not quite the same

Only playing games can truly make you feel like playing games. If you miss playing games, the only way to properly take care of that feeling is playing games *(surprised pikachu face)*

"But I don't know anyone"

You can play online, or play solo ttrpgs, or do play-by-post.

"But it won't be the same as when I was playing with my friends"

No it will not. Of course it's going to be different. But if you spend your time trying to get better at it instead of wasting it on other things, you will finally be able to move forward, and unlock a path to a future where you're having fun playing the damn game.